Ask a Different Question

TonyRobbins_ContributeOne of my very favorite Tony Robbins posts is as follows: “It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives.” I learned this for real after spending about 10 years submerged into self-help for myself. All was great with me, new job, new career, new town, happy family but something was missing. When I learned to ask a different question, “How may I serve?” it literally changed my life. I wrote my first book in 3 days while writing for 15 straight hours for 3 consecutive days. If you would have told me when I was younger I would be an author, I would have told you that you were simply crazy. No way would I have ever entertained that thought. It wasn’t until I asked that different question.

With all of the bullying that is going on around the world, we need to ask ourselves a different question. When I read about an adolescent here in the DFW area committed suicide in the middle school, I was shocked. What was interesting is that the day before my publicist asked me to give an interview on “adolescent suicide” and to be honest, I had never heard of it before. So I knew this was a message for me to ask a different question. “What can I do to help kids suffering from depression?” The end result was a complete re-write of my book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS and a new chapter in my life for helping kids.

So, how about asking a different question to yourself today? Please send me a message or comment below. I would love to know what creative question you will start asking yourself to contribute so that your life will have more meaning (as Tony says).

With gratitude and peace,
Bill

 

5 Steps to Happiness

Since this week’s Daily Positive Points is focusing on Happiness, I thought it would be a great idea to list some ideas for creating a happier life. Sure, there are lots of ideas, books, research, seminars, and education on happiness but I wanted to focus in on what specifically works for me. When I am down or struggling, there is a formula that use to help me get my “stink out” so to speak.

When I was rewriting my children’s book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS, I discovered that the troubles facing our youth was very overwhelming and started to get me down. For example, when I was researching information about bullying and adolescent suicide, I was simply shocked and speechless. I simply felt bad, dirty and sad with story after story that could have been prevented. I would find myself in funk quickly and I didn’t realize it at the time. I learned that I needed to reset myself after doing research like this in the future. The end result is the formula below.

5 Steps to Happiness
1) Get Quiet – When I am down or getting run down, one of the things that has a major impact on my attitude and happiness is getting in a quiet place and cleanse my thoughts. It is more like a data dump to make way for positive thinking. It is easy to say but sometimes harder to do. If my mind is racing out of control, I go to step #2.

2) Exercise – Anytime you are feeling any emotion that doesn’t feel good, you are certainly impacting your happiness. I find that going to the gym to work out helps me clear my mind and get out the anger and frustration. After it, I am much more relaxed and can open my mind to receive good thoughts. Once I am there, I can change my focus to positive thoughts and return to a happier state.

3) Track Positive/Negative Thoughts – Tracking positive and negative thoughts has been one of the most useful tools I have ever used. I even have exercises on this website to do this. I have said for many, many years that you can’t fix something if you are not aware of it. These exercises help you become aware of your thoughts so you can do something about them.

4) Gratitude – When I am not experiencing happiness, I often find that I am focused on the wrong thing. One great exercise I do when I become aware of this, I create a “gratitude circle” in my mind’s eye.  This helps me get out of my own head if you know what I mean. It goes something like this: I close my eyes and start giving thanks to my immediate family (my wife, son, daughter-in-law & dog) and I envision it as a circle. I then expand the circle out to my family and my wife’s family. Each time, I keep expanding until it goes out of the city, state, country, continent, the world and then the universe. I always feel much better about my current circumstances.

5) Kindness – My absolute go-to step for creating happiness is kindness. I have discovered over the years that when I deliver kindness, I feel better and am much happier. I offer a Kindness Challenge once a quarter to help remind everyone to practice kindness for a certain length of time. However, this challenge is really to myself to remind ME to do kindness. Often during these challenges I will ask myself, “what kindness have I delivered today?” This resets my thinking of helping others and I feel great after committing random acts of kindness. Try it, you’ll not only like it, you will LOVE it!

If you want live a happier life, try anyone of the 5 steps I use. In fact, why not try them all and see how you feel? Please post your comments on this page or send me a message via the “Ask Sweetie” barrel.
With peace, happiness and gratitude,
Bill

 

7 Tips For Creating a Positive Week

It sure is easy to let the negative news that we are bombarded with daily get us down and set us up for a tough week. That is why I decided to offer some ideas to plant some positivity to help you create a positive week. You do not have to do all of these (really, you don’t have to do any of these) so pick the ones that resonate with you and try them out. What’s the worst that can happen? At least you will have some positivity to keep your focus on for the few minutes trying the tips.

Tip #1: Start your day off with Gratitude – Simply identify a few things to be grateful for before you get out of bed. It’s that simple.
Tip #2: Practice “taking out your stinkin’ trash” – For the 1st and 2nd day of the week, keep track of negative thinking. This help you clean out the “clutter” of those negative thoughts you are not aware of. Click here for the full exercise.
Tip #3: Practice positive thinking – I know it sounds a little elementary but seriously practice thinking positive thoughts. You can do it in many different ways but I personally like to track it just like the exercise above. If I notice a negative thought, I change it to the complete opposite. Click here for the full exercise, “Hey, Smell This!”
Tip #4: Sign up for daily positive messages & share with friends – There are lots of sites that offer great daily messages delivered to your inbox for free. One that I personally like is from Mike Dooley of tut.com and they are called “Notes from the Universe.” He has been doing them for 12 years now. You can also sign up for my own Daily Positive Points which are also free. The next thing to do is to share them with others. This is one thing that has a very nice impact on your week because the more that others are doused with positivity, the nicer and friendlier they typically are. That way all of you can discuss the messages of positivity than focus on negative things in your life.
Tip #5: Read something positive – I find that a great way for me to stay positive is to read other inspiring books. I love anything from Tony Robbins because it helps me stay in a positive mood. He reminds me to stay focused on my goals and that I can achieve anything. Also, you can check out my latest book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS to see if it resonates with you and your family. Either way, find someone who inspires you, buy their book, read info on their websites & blogs, and/or search for blogs about inspiration and positivity.
Tip #6: Use a positive vocabulary – When someone asks how you are, say something like, “I’m superfantastic! Thank you for asking. How about yourself?” I got this from Keith Harold who passed away last year. I saw him at a business conference and he was simply amazing. I used his technique and to this day, some 10 year later, I still practice it. I love the looks on their faces when I give that response. It’s priceless!
Tip #7: End each day in gratitude – Take a few minutes before going to sleep to either journal things you are grateful for or at least think about them before going to sleep. Try to make it the last thing you are thinking about before you go to sleep. This is a great way to set yourself up for positivity the next day.

I realize that you may not be able to do all 7 items above, but do take time to find a few that you could consider giving them a shot. It will help you have an incredible week. Try it as an experiment and jot down positive things that have happened to you that week. You can do that  right? It’s only 7 days. You could even try a different one each day. How could would that be?

Don’t hesitate to send me a message. You can post a comment on this page or go to the “Ask Sweetie” barrel to ask me a direct question.
With peace and much GRATITUDE!
Bill

 

 

Five Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude

Attitude affects every aspect of our lives. It affects how we start our day, how we get to work or school, how we act while we are there, and how well our evenings become. The best way to have a positive attitude is to choose to have it right now. Make it your intention and then maintain that thought throughout the day.

Here are a tips to get and maintain a positive attitude during your work day:

  1. Gratitude – Make the first thought of your day one of gratitude. Before getting out of bed, think of several things that you are grateful of.
  2. Positive Messages – Make the first thing you look at on your computer be a positive message. Things like my Daily Positive Points or sites that send you a positive message of the day work very nicely.
  3. Intention – While getting ready for work or school, state an intention that you will have a positive attitude all day today. Try this: “I AM a powerful, positive person. My intention is to see something positive in every situation today.”
  4. Schedule Your Day – Before starting at work or school, make a list of things you want to accomplish. Then set your alarm on your phone to go off every hour at the same time all day to remind you to stay focused on your intention.
  5. Gratitude – End your day with gratitude. Make a list or better yet, journal what you were grateful for the day. This is a very powerful tool to set your mind in the right frame of mind as you enter the unconscious dream state.

With these simple 5-steps you can have and maintain a positive attitude today. Just remember to take it one day at a time and when things don’t go as planned, simply start the next day off with the intention of positivity.

With peace and gratitude,
Bill

Focus Equals Fate

I say it all the time. You have heard it all too often. What you focus on EXPANDS. This is a core belief of mine and many others. So why do most people not get it? While I cannot answer that question because everyone is uniquely different and at different stages in their lives. However, what I can tell you is that whatever you put your focus on often turns into a belief. The key is whether that belief is a positive one that supports and helps you grow or is negative and holds you back.

Here’s what I truly believe. Most of us see things WORSE than they are, instead of how things REALLY are. Ugh, I know! I recall talking to a friend of mine who practices this with a passion. What he tells me is that if I see how the worst it could be, I am prepared just in case this happens. So it is a survival technique all too many of us practice. The problem I see with this is that you are looking for the WORST it could possibly be and by thinking and focusing on the worst it can be, it can actually draw that to you.

I call this sort of thinking, STINK Eye thinking. Whenever you look at something and turn it to something bad or negative (often times it really isn’t) you have caught the STINK Eye. Not to worry, there are several techniques I teach to help my students focus on what the positive. In fact there are three things that can turn it around quickly. They are:

1) Focus and Visualization
2) Setting Goals
3) Look at setbacks as Opportunities

Focus and Visualization is the easiest and quickest way to dilute the STINK Eye. Simply try focusing on something positive in your life. If you have trouble with that, visualize a positive outcome or simply go back to a time that you were on top of your game. That simple technique can help drastically.

If you follow me or know me at all, you know that I am very, very goal driven. I believe it is my competitive nature but they are a major part of my life. I use them to take complex, nearly out of reach goals and break them up into smaller ones so I can create momentum. Once the positive momentum starts flowing, things change very quickly for me. Take for instance the issues today involving bullying and low self esteem. I have read enough information about bullying and self esteem in kids to realize there are a lot of different techniques people teach. I decided to try a different approach. I asked “what can I do to help kids deal with the negative influences and issues they are faced with today?” and that lead to a new book (STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS). Once I had the goal of building self esteem as a way of combating bullying and other negatives, I created project plan for the book. That project plan consisted of 173 steps. It seemed overwhelming at first but breaking things into mini goals ultimately kept the momentum moving forward with the book launch.

Another area that can change your thoughts is to look at any setback as an opportunity. I saved this for last because it is one of the more difficult ones to practice.  However, it can have the biggest impact. Looking at setbacks or problems as opportunities take you out of the victim mentality, which does nothing but deliver negative outcomes while looking for the opportunity that lies within them is very empowering. This is why I teach that setbacks are often transformational.

In summary, each of us posses the ability to focus on what we want and filter out the negative things around us. A lot of people look for the bad and that expands while others look for what is good and that expands for them. When you catch yourself with a bad case of STINK Eye, try three quick techniques to clear it up: 1) Focus and Visualization, 2) Set Goals, & 3) Turn Setbacks into Opportunities.

With peace and gratitude,
Bill

Beliefs: How to Challenge Them Now

When I was younger, I thought that beliefs could not be changed. My “belief” was that once I had a particular belief, I was destined to carry it my entire life. I then realized I was dead wrong on that matter. In fact, changing a negative, self-limiting belief can be changed almost instantly.

But before I dive into changing beliefs, let me give you a little background about beliefs and where they come from.

Beliefs are only thoughts held to be true.  They are not right or wrong, true or false, just VERY strong opinions. So, why is it important to constantly challenge your beliefs? The reality is that you will always act or not act in accordance to your predominate beliefs.

We need to distinguish ideas and beliefs so we can understand how to change them. Beliefs start out as just an idea that grows powerful as we put more focus and energy to it. Tony Robbins said it best; ideas are like a table with no legs while beliefs are the legs that hold up the table or idea. Remember that beliefs are not right or wrong so we can easily create beliefs that do not serve us. One other key thing to mention is that two people can have go through the same experience and leave with two completely separate beliefs.

What we need to do is become aware of when we are putting “legs” under that table. One quick way I have found is understanding the power of our vocabulary. The most powerful words we can speak are “I am.” You can say that confirming “I am” puts more legs under the idea (table) whether it is right or wrong. This means we can easily create powerful beliefs about ourselves that are completely self-limiting.

Here’s an easy four-step process I developed for changing those negative beliefs:
1) Awareness – become aware of what we are thinking
2) Thoughts – change our negative thoughts
3) Re-Program – re-write or re-program the thought
4) Vocabulary – change the words you are staying on a consistent basis

Most of the time we focus on what is not working, what is not right or what we feel we cannot change. By becoming aware of what we think, change negative thoughts to positive ones, re-program the thought or idea to empowering ones and this can be easily accomplished by changing a negative vocabulary to a more positive one.

With peace and gratitude,
Bill

Affirmations: Who Needs Them Anyway?

If you have read anything about me or my work, you will certainly know that positive affirmations are an important part of my work. Where I may differ from others is that positive affirmations alone are not very powerful. Sure, they are better than negative affirmations but we need a little more to make them stick.

I put them to the test back in summer as I read something from Napoleon Hill in which he stated that you should do them 12 times a day. I have always tried to practice them at least 3 times a day and then when I think about it during the day. In the July time frame, I grabbed an index card and marked on it each time I did the affirmations. I did at least 12 affirmations each day for six straight months.

Was it worth it?

You bet it was! I learned a very valuable lesson. Just getting yourself to state the affirmation has an immediate effect on your emotional state. I recall a few times I was upset or down a bit and going through the affirmations helped me feel a little better. I also believe it helped me stay focused on my goals and keep them in the forefront of my mind’s eye.

Are affirmations for everyone?

I believe they are. When you affirm something, it is as if you are changing your belief system by “tricking” it into something that isn’t real, YET. However, just affirming something doesn’t make it so. Oh, NO, not by any stretch of the imagination. You can affirm, “I am happy” thousands of times a day and still by miserable. The key is to make them real enough so you can FEEL them.  Here are a few tips for you to consider as you write your affirmations out:
1) Use “I AM” as often as possible. Those words are some of the most powerful words that can be spoken.
2) Keep them clear and concise.
3) Use positive words, not the negative. For example, state “I AM rich both mentally and physically.” rather than “I AM not poor.”
4) State them with conviction.
5) Say the out loud.
6) Say them during activity. Plan them during a walk around the block, exercise at the gym or stand in your room moving your arms and legs to increase the energy of your affirmations.

If you have any questions about your affirmations, don’t hesitate to send me a direct message.  Here’s to you and your affirmations!
With peace and much gratitude,
Bill

A Negative Mind Will Never Give You a Positive Life

There is only one thing that we truly have control of, our minds. We choose our thoughts every single day whether we like it or not. With our minds producing up to  50,000 thoughts a day, we really need to pay very close attention to them.  While we are only aware of about 2,000 thoughts a day, that leaves a lot of thoughts that go unchecked.

Now I know we are all challenged with negative things pretty much every day and there really isn’t anything we can do about it. But, that’s okay. The key is not to stay in that negative state for too long.

One thing is for certain in these times of everyone’s struggles and stories about bullying getting way out of control, we must do something about our thoughts right now. We can no longer ignore the negative thoughts that often dominate our thoughts. That is why I wrote STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS. My thoughts were to create something to help children with their thinking and build positive techniques they can use a lifetime. What I didn’t expect was that so many adults found the book to be a great source to help them. Boy, I didn’t see that one coming!

Join me today in keeping our negative thoughts in check while converting the negative STINKIN’ THINKIN’ to something more positive. Check out my exercise called, Take Out Your STINKIN’ Trash for some ideas about how to track your negative thinking so you can become aware of them. Then change them!

With peace and much gratitude,
Bill

The Power of I AM

Of all the tools I have used in my life, using affirmations has been one of the most powerful. When I first learned about affirmations, I was a bit skeptical. I have tried many different ways of using them. I learned that just saying them (while it is better than not saying them at all) produces very little results. The key is BELIEVING them!

If you just merely say them, you are simply saying words. It is the belief that makes them real and work. The more we believe in them, the quicker they return the results we are looking to attain. Staring our affirmations with “I AM” is one way to make them real. Whatever follows those words create a conviction that are so very powerful.

Here’s a few tips to create strong, powerful affirmations. Affirmations should:
1) Concise
2) Clear
3) Have Meaning
4) Contain Positive Words (never use negative words like “not”, “never”, “without”, etc.)
5) Start with “I AM”
6) Stated with conviction & confidence
7) Said out loud

If you want to SUPERCHARGE the affirmations, state them with movement (like walking, jogging, arm gestures, etc.).  If you want to supercharge them even more, visualize the affirmation as if it already occurred.

I truly believe that if we taught our kids the true power of affirmations and they practiced them, we would not read another story about bullying. Affirmations build high self-esteem when practiced correctly. Let’s make a difference in our kids future by teaching them the power of positive thinking and using goals to achieve success.

With gratitude and peace,
Bill

Oh No! I Do STINK!

I sure hate to say this but sometimes, we all STINK!  Well, that is our thoughts STINK! More often than we would like to admit, our thoughts can get the best of us. One thing out of our control will lead to negative thinking and just like that, we have a bad day.

One thing that I know with certainty is that we all have a choice. We have a choice to consciously select positive thoughts over negative thoughts.  We also have a choice to select negative thoughts over positive ones. Unfortunately we make a lot of these choices without being aware. That is where awareness comes in. Through awareness, we can consciously change our thoughts and turn things around.

Recently, when I was feeling a bit down, I started to wallow in that negative thinking. Fortunately, however, once I realized I was choosing negative thoughts, I was able to change them immediately. My thoughts were that I can choose to be miserable or accept what I cannot change and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.

It reminds me of the stories about bullying that I hear regularly these days. The one thing in common with all of them is that they started out with negative thinking that grew way out of control. We need to constantly remind ourselves that we have choice when it comes to our thinking. When we do, it helps remind us that we can choose something different in the moment.

With peace and gratitude,
Bill