Auto-motive Kindness Opportunity

Isn’t it interesting that when your mind is focused on something you get to experience it almost immediately? Well, it sure happened to me this morning. Yesterday I issued the “Give A Little Love Kindness Challenge” so opportunities to offer kindness is my focus right now. I had a great opportunity to offer kindness and as I reflected on it, I realized there were some similarities.  Let me explain.

This morning I went to work out at the club at 6:00 AM. I finished up in time to catch my wife before she left for work but on the way home something changed that. On the opposite side of a red light, a lady in a truck was stalled. She got out of the truck, let people know behind her that the tuck wouldn’t start. When I got the green light to turn, I pull into a bank close by to see what I could do to help. As I approached her, I noticed that she had a toddler in a car seat and was worried with him being in the stalled car. I told her that I could try to push it to a side street to get it off the busy main 6 lane road.

She was very grateful someone stopped to help her but it got better. As I was standing there I saw a car pull over. 3 Hispanic guys came running over to help. With their help, we were able to push the car into the gas station and out of harms way. They drove off and we thanked them profusely. It didn’t stop there though. The lady did not have her purse with her so she did not have a phone. I let her borrow mine but didn’t connect with anyone. I then got her truck to start and offered to follow her home to make sure she and her child were safe if it stopped running again.  Then I noticed it was spraying transmission fluid. Smoke was pouring out but I also noticed it was running hot. I told her it was too much of a risk to try to drive it home.

I then offered to give her a ride home. She accepted so I went into the gas station to let them know that we were leaving it there but someone would check on it later. I could tell that the lady was about to lose it so I let her know that I had been in the same situation many times. I let her know that my wife’s car had broken down before and had to rely on strangers to help when I couldn’t get there. We talked all the way back and upon leaving, she said, “I cannot thank you enough. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t come along. I wish I had something to give you.” I immediately said that even if she had, I wouldn’t have accepted it anyway. I told her that maybe the truck needs a little TLC and would be up and running in no time.

What I find interesting is that another time when I issued a Kindness Challenge, I had a kindness opportunity involving a car.  It was a flat tire that time. (See that blog post by clicking here) The funny thing is that it was also auto related.  I now know where to go to practice “automotive” kindness and maybe you can go there too. It is at the Shell gas station on 2499 and Sagebrush. Maybe I will see you there!

Kindness_Opportunity

With peace and kindness,
Bill

Give a little love and it all comes back to you!

banner_3Simple acts of kindness have profound effects on our bodies, our minds and others observing the kindness. This creates what I like to call the “Kindness Ripple” that reaches out and can go viral with the right momentum. What I get excited about is that there is actually scientific research about the positive benefits of kindness. It directly has a positive effect on our immune system, reduces stress, relieves depression, decreases restrictions of our lungs (Realy? Sweet!), and I could go on and on and on. While I was thinking about what kind of challenge I was going to issue this month I ask my wife and mother-in-law tonight at dinner. My wife starts singing, “Give a little love and it all comes back to you…” That’s it! Perfect!

I find it fascinating of the power of kindness. I often issue “kindness challenges” to help bring awareness to this powerful gift that rests within each of us. The Kindness Challenge that has been issued for June 23, 2014, is a little different. I really want to build momentum to keep the kindness challenge going on rather than setting a specific date to end it. I am using my fan page on Facebook so you can post comments, like and share the kindness message and via my Twitter account. I will be posting scientific research about the kindness effect on us in new blog posts regularly. I will be sending positive quotes and messages daily through my Daily Positive Points plus posting suggestions for kindness daily on my blog and social media. Lastly, you are encouraged to take advantage of the Kindness Meter on this site to track and spread your kindness. It is 100% free and you get your very own kindness meter when you register. All you have to do is go to idontstink.com and “Click Here To Sign Up for a FREE ACCOUNT” at the right and near the bottom of the home page. Once registered, you can click on the Kindness Meter and are presented with over 200 kind deeds to log. Check it out when you have a minute. As you log your kind deeds, you might get a surprise from Sweetie at some point while logging them.

With all the stories about bullying going around these days, we have to do something. I believe that kindness is the answer. Let’s practice it daily and schedule it on our calendars if necessary but be sure to practice kindness today. When tomorrow comes, practice it again.

It only takes a little effort to do kindness so why not participate today? Join me in giving a little love and watch it all come back to you!
With Peace and Kindness!
Bill

3 Simple Shifts That Bring Instant Results

What we think about becomes our reality but often we sabotage our thinking by the choice of words we choose. Unfortunately, most of the time this is done on a subconscious level. We need to become aware of our thoughts as this is critical but it dawned on me that that thoughts and words go hand-in-hand. First you think it, and then you say it. But, sometimes it is more like, first you say it and then you think it. Hmmm. Certainly I’m not the only one that has done that, right?

Our choice of vocabulary, conscious or unconscious, plays a major role in our lives. How we use this vocabulary directly affects our health, happiness and success. I offer you 3 simple shifts to help you become aware of the words you choose and create a positive, fantastic life. Using these 3 shifts in your awareness creates instant results.

Shift #1: Become Aware of Negative Expressions of Your Current Emotional State – Well, that is a little long winded but the idea is to catch yourself saying things like, “I’m so tired.” “I can never catch a break.” “Why does this keep happening to me?” If you can take a few minutes each day to process what you have been telling other people, you will see these negative expressions seep out. Here’s a real example in my life. At one point, I was working 100+ hours a week and living and breathing work. I was stressed and not happy. When someone would ask me how I was doing, I had the same immediate response, “I am so overwhelmed.” One morning I caught myself and when I did, I changed it the next time. Later that morning, someone asked me, “How are you doing?” I immediately shifted the negative expression to “I’m super fantastic. Thank you for asking. How about you?” The looks and responses I got was priceless but better than that was my feeling about it. I instantly changed a negative state to a positive one. I still practice this same shift to this day.

Shift #2: Change Your Attitude – It is easy for use to get caught in the struggles of the day. We get up, head to work, get caught in traffic, arrive late for a meeting and the day goes spinning out of control. It doesn’t have to be that way. When you shift your attitude to a positive one, people will be more likely to offer help and show encouragement when thing get tough. One thing that I do to create this instant shift is to use affirmations. Well, they are more of what Tony Robbins refers to as INCANTATIONS. It is a powerful blend of affirmations using emotion, visualization and speaking out loud. The other day I found myself in a crumby state. I started my incantation when taking Rooney for a walk and literally 5-10 minutes later, I shifted from a bad attitude to a very positive one.

Shift #3: Challenge Your Beliefs – Unfortunately many of us have self-limiting beliefs. These will hold us back from experiencing success in our lives. A lot of these beliefs are not even on a conscious level either. One thing I found that can shift me instantly is become aware of my beliefs. A great test for you to try is to become aware what you say immediately after “I am…” What follows that is normally a belief. The next time you catch yourself saying, “I am” take notice of what follows. Their are two quick ways to challenge them. 1) Challenge them by changing the I AM to the complete opposite. So for instance you say, “I am so broke” you could say “I am so rich.” To me this doesn’t work so great because it is too drastic.  However, sometime I will still do it anyway given the right circumstance. 2) Challenge them by changing the I AM to something a little softer. Are you really broke? No, not really. Maybe change it to something like, “I am doing the best I can financially.” You see, it is a little softer but the idea is that you keep working on it until you change the belief that you are abundance and it flows automatically to you.  Before long you will be saying, “I AM a powerful, positive person. Money, love and happiness flows to me in oceans of abundance.”

By shifting your negative expressions you change your emotional state. By shifting your attitude, you feel better and others feel better around you. By shifting your beliefs to something more in line with who you really are, your world will open up to you. Practice these 3 techniques often and watch the success and happiness that follows close behind.

With gratitude and peace,
Bill

Rooney and World Cup Football

Rooney_WorldCup

Rooney asked me this morning to post a picture of her with her decked out in her soccer (er, football) equipment.  Football is her favorite sport and loves to use her nose to kick the ball around.  Enjoy the FIFA World Cup 2014!  I know Rooney will.

With gratitude,
Bill

5 Ways to Increase Kid’s Self Esteem

The consequences of low self esteem are brutal, disturbing and disgusting. I can’t say it any softer than that. There are alarming trends these days that need to be address right now.  We cannot wait another single day.

The statistics tell us all we need to know:

  • 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
  • 87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”
  • 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating.
  • Suicide is the third leading cause of death in younger adolescents in the US (10–14 year olds).

Yea, I know, unbelievable but I prefer to describe these statistics as UNACCEPTABLE! There are many, many reasons why this is happening but that is not the question we should be asking. Instead, we should be asking “How can we make a difference in these kid’s lives?” I believe one of the things we can do to have the biggest impact with our kids is to teach them how to develop high self esteem.

There is one really good example that I learned from Jack Canfield to teach self esteem and I use it all the time. While don’t recall the exact wording, it was something like this. If someone walked up to you and said, “you have blue hair” when in fact it is brown, you would laugh it off and ignore them or think they were crazy. However, if on the other hand, someone comes up to you and said, “you are insensitive, mean, ugly and disgusting.” you might feel a little annoyed or even angry. So what is the difference? Here’s the key: It’s not what the person said to that made you angry, it is what you are telling yourself when they stop talking. This is a very powerful lesson and it is for that reason I use it so often.

Here are 5 ways to increase kid’s self esteem (and our own too!):

  1. Eliminate Perfection – This lofty goal only sets us up for failure. There is no need to be perfect and you know, it’s perfect that we are not perfect! We need to teach kids (and ourselves) to do the best that we can given the skills we have in the moment. Sure, I would have done a lot of things differently as a kid if I only knew then what I know now. That is one of the primary reasons why I teach kids these lessons so it will have a major impact on their lives moving forward. One clarification, I did say do the best we can but that does not mean not putting forth the appropriate effort.
  2. Track Negative Thinking – One of the main issues of low self esteem is a very strong negative outlook on ourselves and life in general. A simple technique I used for quite some time was tracking my negative thinking. I even designed a kids version in my latest book STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS as well as added the exercise Take Out Your STINKIN’ Trash on this website to help others. When you become aware of negative thinking, you can do something about it. The problem is that most of our negative thinking is unconscious and is actually what we are using to make decisions daily.
  3. Set Simple Goals – I know, I know, setting goals, how boring is that? Well let me tell you, it is one of the best ways to build self esteem. The goals I am talking about are not huge goals, but more of stepping stone goals. Start off small, build some success and start feeling better about our accomplishments. This builds momentum and encourages us to set another goal. With each achievement comes with it more momentum.
  4. Practice Kindness – One of the easiest ways to increase your self esteem is to practice kindness. Helping and being of assistance to others helps us feel good about ourselves and that is precisely what self esteem is for. Did you know that this current website was built around kindness? I actually designed the full site around a kindness meter on the homepage. Check it out when you have a chance.
  5. Do the Right Thing – There is a book I read that was simply amazing. It is called The Four Agreements and it really puts things into perspective for me. It was so simple. After reading it, I decided to use these four agreements in my life but I also added a fifth one, Do the Right Thing. By this I mean that we know what the right thing to do is most of the time. A lot of times it means doing the much harder thing but when you practice doing what you feel is right, you will certainly build a higher self esteem.

When you incorporate these 5 ways of building self esteem in your life and the kids you know, everyone will feel better about themselves. Sometimes it is the simple things that make the biggest difference in our lives. Start with one of the five ways and see if it makes a difference in your life. If it does, then practice more of it and teach it to children. They deserve it because they are all special and lovable.

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” –George Eliot
With gratitude and peace,
Bill

Ask a Different Question

TonyRobbins_ContributeOne of my very favorite Tony Robbins posts is as follows: “It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives.” I learned this for real after spending about 10 years submerged into self-help for myself. All was great with me, new job, new career, new town, happy family but something was missing. When I learned to ask a different question, “How may I serve?” it literally changed my life. I wrote my first book in 3 days while writing for 15 straight hours for 3 consecutive days. If you would have told me when I was younger I would be an author, I would have told you that you were simply crazy. No way would I have ever entertained that thought. It wasn’t until I asked that different question.

With all of the bullying that is going on around the world, we need to ask ourselves a different question. When I read about an adolescent here in the DFW area committed suicide in the middle school, I was shocked. What was interesting is that the day before my publicist asked me to give an interview on “adolescent suicide” and to be honest, I had never heard of it before. So I knew this was a message for me to ask a different question. “What can I do to help kids suffering from depression?” The end result was a complete re-write of my book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS and a new chapter in my life for helping kids.

So, how about asking a different question to yourself today? Please send me a message or comment below. I would love to know what creative question you will start asking yourself to contribute so that your life will have more meaning (as Tony says).

With gratitude and peace,
Bill

 

5 Steps to Happiness

Since this week’s Daily Positive Points is focusing on Happiness, I thought it would be a great idea to list some ideas for creating a happier life. Sure, there are lots of ideas, books, research, seminars, and education on happiness but I wanted to focus in on what specifically works for me. When I am down or struggling, there is a formula that use to help me get my “stink out” so to speak.

When I was rewriting my children’s book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS, I discovered that the troubles facing our youth was very overwhelming and started to get me down. For example, when I was researching information about bullying and adolescent suicide, I was simply shocked and speechless. I simply felt bad, dirty and sad with story after story that could have been prevented. I would find myself in funk quickly and I didn’t realize it at the time. I learned that I needed to reset myself after doing research like this in the future. The end result is the formula below.

5 Steps to Happiness
1) Get Quiet – When I am down or getting run down, one of the things that has a major impact on my attitude and happiness is getting in a quiet place and cleanse my thoughts. It is more like a data dump to make way for positive thinking. It is easy to say but sometimes harder to do. If my mind is racing out of control, I go to step #2.

2) Exercise – Anytime you are feeling any emotion that doesn’t feel good, you are certainly impacting your happiness. I find that going to the gym to work out helps me clear my mind and get out the anger and frustration. After it, I am much more relaxed and can open my mind to receive good thoughts. Once I am there, I can change my focus to positive thoughts and return to a happier state.

3) Track Positive/Negative Thoughts – Tracking positive and negative thoughts has been one of the most useful tools I have ever used. I even have exercises on this website to do this. I have said for many, many years that you can’t fix something if you are not aware of it. These exercises help you become aware of your thoughts so you can do something about them.

4) Gratitude – When I am not experiencing happiness, I often find that I am focused on the wrong thing. One great exercise I do when I become aware of this, I create a “gratitude circle” in my mind’s eye.  This helps me get out of my own head if you know what I mean. It goes something like this: I close my eyes and start giving thanks to my immediate family (my wife, son, daughter-in-law & dog) and I envision it as a circle. I then expand the circle out to my family and my wife’s family. Each time, I keep expanding until it goes out of the city, state, country, continent, the world and then the universe. I always feel much better about my current circumstances.

5) Kindness – My absolute go-to step for creating happiness is kindness. I have discovered over the years that when I deliver kindness, I feel better and am much happier. I offer a Kindness Challenge once a quarter to help remind everyone to practice kindness for a certain length of time. However, this challenge is really to myself to remind ME to do kindness. Often during these challenges I will ask myself, “what kindness have I delivered today?” This resets my thinking of helping others and I feel great after committing random acts of kindness. Try it, you’ll not only like it, you will LOVE it!

If you want live a happier life, try anyone of the 5 steps I use. In fact, why not try them all and see how you feel? Please post your comments on this page or send me a message via the “Ask Sweetie” barrel.
With peace, happiness and gratitude,
Bill

 

9 Year Old Blogger – Do You Stink? Giveaway

AG_Blogger_Giveaway_Image

I had the privilege to be introduced to a 9 year old who blogs about American Girl products. She got a copy of my book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS and loved it. So I sent her a couple of signed copies of it and she decided to create a giveaway for one of them. I was super impressed with her work and the attention to detail. If you have a minute, go check out her blog and giveaway at funwithagfan.blogspot.com/2014/05/do-you-stink-giveaway.html. You still have a couple of days to enter in the giveaway.

Now THAT is what I am talking about!
With peace and gratitude,
Bill

7 Tips For Creating a Positive Week

It sure is easy to let the negative news that we are bombarded with daily get us down and set us up for a tough week. That is why I decided to offer some ideas to plant some positivity to help you create a positive week. You do not have to do all of these (really, you don’t have to do any of these) so pick the ones that resonate with you and try them out. What’s the worst that can happen? At least you will have some positivity to keep your focus on for the few minutes trying the tips.

Tip #1: Start your day off with Gratitude – Simply identify a few things to be grateful for before you get out of bed. It’s that simple.
Tip #2: Practice “taking out your stinkin’ trash” – For the 1st and 2nd day of the week, keep track of negative thinking. This help you clean out the “clutter” of those negative thoughts you are not aware of. Click here for the full exercise.
Tip #3: Practice positive thinking – I know it sounds a little elementary but seriously practice thinking positive thoughts. You can do it in many different ways but I personally like to track it just like the exercise above. If I notice a negative thought, I change it to the complete opposite. Click here for the full exercise, “Hey, Smell This!”
Tip #4: Sign up for daily positive messages & share with friends – There are lots of sites that offer great daily messages delivered to your inbox for free. One that I personally like is from Mike Dooley of tut.com and they are called “Notes from the Universe.” He has been doing them for 12 years now. You can also sign up for my own Daily Positive Points which are also free. The next thing to do is to share them with others. This is one thing that has a very nice impact on your week because the more that others are doused with positivity, the nicer and friendlier they typically are. That way all of you can discuss the messages of positivity than focus on negative things in your life.
Tip #5: Read something positive – I find that a great way for me to stay positive is to read other inspiring books. I love anything from Tony Robbins because it helps me stay in a positive mood. He reminds me to stay focused on my goals and that I can achieve anything. Also, you can check out my latest book, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS to see if it resonates with you and your family. Either way, find someone who inspires you, buy their book, read info on their websites & blogs, and/or search for blogs about inspiration and positivity.
Tip #6: Use a positive vocabulary – When someone asks how you are, say something like, “I’m superfantastic! Thank you for asking. How about yourself?” I got this from Keith Harold who passed away last year. I saw him at a business conference and he was simply amazing. I used his technique and to this day, some 10 year later, I still practice it. I love the looks on their faces when I give that response. It’s priceless!
Tip #7: End each day in gratitude – Take a few minutes before going to sleep to either journal things you are grateful for or at least think about them before going to sleep. Try to make it the last thing you are thinking about before you go to sleep. This is a great way to set yourself up for positivity the next day.

I realize that you may not be able to do all 7 items above, but do take time to find a few that you could consider giving them a shot. It will help you have an incredible week. Try it as an experiment and jot down positive things that have happened to you that week. You can do that  right? It’s only 7 days. You could even try a different one each day. How could would that be?

Don’t hesitate to send me a message. You can post a comment on this page or go to the “Ask Sweetie” barrel to ask me a direct question.
With peace and much GRATITUDE!
Bill

 

 

Time to send Fear Packin’!

I found this great quote the other day and put it in an image. I thought it was powerful so I thought I would share.
Enjoy!
With peace and gratitude,
Bill

Fear Emerson